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Wednesday, 6 February 2013

The Future. (as well as the past and indeed, the present.)

There comes a time in everyone's life that you have to start thinking of the past, the present and indeed, the future. The future is a funny thing; you do not know what is going to happen in... THE FUTURE!!! Yet, many people do, e.g, fortune tellers, psychics and mediums. That reminds me, I went to see a psychic last tuesday and was shocked, horrified and ecstatic at what I heard! :O
Me (gingerbread stalker): hi.
Psychic (magnificent meddling mystic margarie(MMMM for short)): hi.
Me: Can you predict the future?
MMMM: no.
Me: ok.
MMMM: k.
Me: bye.
MMMM: k.
After this, MMMM approached me in the street and started singing Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time". Onlookers watched as this 86 year old medium poured her heart out to me with the lyrics of a pop diva. She exclaimed that ever since we first met she couldn't hold her feelings back for me, that she loved me, that we were soulmates. It was clear that she did, when I visited her, the romanitc air (along with a lot of "k's") filled her tent. Unfortunately, as I am not a lesbian history teacher, I did not reciprocate her feelings of love and lust. She then proceeded to lock me in her tent and hold me hostage. Before she could attempt her evil acts of voodo upon me, my nephew Tony (with the armpit hair) revealed himself to be the father of MMMM. To say I was #shocked would be an #understatement. They allowed me to leave and while they continued their weird father-daughter relationship, I went on to think again about the past, the present and indeed, THE FUTURE!!
ya nevr n0 wahs ar0nd dah cornr lioke bbz!!! xoxo

 This is the creep MMMM.
This is a typical lesbian history teacher.

You might remember Tony (my beautiful nephew) #LOVEHIM4EVA