Complete Roide! :D:D:D:D

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

zoo activity; We are yound

Me and my best friend, another transvestite (just to let you know I'm still one! xoxo) Mr. Darcy recently took a trip to the zoo because.. We are yound! And while you are yound you do many crazy, stupid things as they say where I come from (Asia lads!) YOLO! While at the zoo I suddenly noticed a leopard looking at me with those eyes it looked horny and up for some action. I thought "Wow I'm in with a chance of love here!" Then suddenly, the leopard proceeded to devour a small child. He looked like he was enjoying it so I thought this could be our first date and I hopped in to the leopard enclosure. I was about to approach this sexy beast and introduce myself but go tobainn, it snarled at me and let out a huge roar! It must have found out I was eyeing up the pandas. But I didn't cheat, I swear! The leopard charged at me, teeth snarling in the wind. I ran up a tree to escape my ex lover and screamed for help. My best friend Mr. Darcy noticed my pleas and alerted the zoo owner. Malheuresement, he did not speak english and thought he wanted Darcy to be in with the leopard so threw him in! Thats not very nice now! Fortunately Darcy was a former world gymnast so was able to somersault over the railing and escape my ex fiancee leopard. As I looked I noticed my lover leopard was not a he but a she, and a pregnant one at that! The poor thing went into labour in front of my eyes, I dashed down and helped it give birth, because I am a wannabe midwife. Crowds of people watched, smartphones in hand, as I comforted the big cat. Eventually the leopard (who's name was Lisa) thanked me and gave me an almighty hug. As I walked away I met with the zoo owner again, and he gave me that look, and I think I'm in with a chance there... YA NEVR N0 WAHZ ROUND' DEE CORNR LYK!!!! #LOVEISALLAROUND #WEDDINGBELLS

P.S. We do not promote beastality on this blog and will nit be held liable for any actions, don't try this at home, try it at the zoo.
P.P.S I deliberately spelt "young" wrong at the start of the blog.
P.P.P.S Seriously this blog is fiction and should not be taken seriosuly, we do not promote any illegal activity.

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

The Future. (as well as the past and indeed, the present.)

There comes a time in everyone's life that you have to start thinking of the past, the present and indeed, the future. The future is a funny thing; you do not know what is going to happen in... THE FUTURE!!! Yet, many people do, e.g, fortune tellers, psychics and mediums. That reminds me, I went to see a psychic last tuesday and was shocked, horrified and ecstatic at what I heard! :O
Me (gingerbread stalker): hi.
Psychic (magnificent meddling mystic margarie(MMMM for short)): hi.
Me: Can you predict the future?
MMMM: no.
Me: ok.
MMMM: k.
Me: bye.
MMMM: k.
After this, MMMM approached me in the street and started singing Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time". Onlookers watched as this 86 year old medium poured her heart out to me with the lyrics of a pop diva. She exclaimed that ever since we first met she couldn't hold her feelings back for me, that she loved me, that we were soulmates. It was clear that she did, when I visited her, the romanitc air (along with a lot of "k's") filled her tent. Unfortunately, as I am not a lesbian history teacher, I did not reciprocate her feelings of love and lust. She then proceeded to lock me in her tent and hold me hostage. Before she could attempt her evil acts of voodo upon me, my nephew Tony (with the armpit hair) revealed himself to be the father of MMMM. To say I was #shocked would be an #understatement. They allowed me to leave and while they continued their weird father-daughter relationship, I went on to think again about the past, the present and indeed, THE FUTURE!!
ya nevr n0 wahs ar0nd dah cornr lioke bbz!!! xoxo

 This is the creep MMMM.
This is a typical lesbian history teacher.

You might remember Tony (my beautiful nephew) #LOVEHIM4EVA

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Humble Apology to Our Loyal Followers

Dearest Follwers,

We would like to formely apologise for our absence and lack of updates to the blog. There has been a slight seperation in the founders of the blog but we realise now that it is only small wave in the vast sea of the blogging world. It is only fair on to ignore the difficulties and continue on, returning the love and joy that our followers have given us.

The main reason for our absence is down to an additional, optional, year that is available for students ion many schools. If a student chooses this extra year they are then separated from their friends who continue on. The separation resulted in lack of communication and a breakdown in blog conversations. Only now do we reaslise that our difficuties can not be taken out on the members of the blog...we are sorry, followers, deeply, humbly, in every element of our minds and from the depths of our hearts we are sorry for not making posts on the blog.

We hope to continue and allow this blog to thrive, expanding intothe blogging world. There will be tests of strenght and emotions, but alas do not worry loyal followers. The blog will prevail.

xoxo luff yiz 4eva nd alwiz <3 <3 XD :*

Friday, 18 May 2012


handy is a handy word.
this blog post is handy when you want to use the word handy. it lets you know all the different contexts you can use it in and places where it can come in handy.

handy can be used in place of the word 'useful' or 'beneficial'
   eg. ipods are handy.
         this app is handy.

handy can also be used to replace the words 'easy' or 'simple'
    eg. this jigsaw puzzle is handy.
          religion is a handy enough school subject.

handy is also used in the place of 'easily accessed'
     eg. do you have a pen handy. (do you have a pen i can easily access)
           she is handy.

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Pr*cks Trying To Copy Us -_-

recently some losers we know decided to set up a blog to compete with us. there name is sunbeam or something really stupid. we, reccomend that you do not follow them as they really are losers.
there blog will slowly kill your brain. we will update you on there loser comments and any ammendments to their blog. presently they are struggling to set up a google account and are all moody and mean.
do you really want to follow a blog set up by people like these??
I thought not, so follow our blog instead.
luv yas all babes

Monday, 19 March 2012

Maturing Fast These Days

So I'm staying with my sister Sophie and she only has 2 wardrobes... hers and Tony's, who is her 6 year old son and my favorite nephew!, So I had to put my clothes in Tony's wardrobe. 
So I need to get a top to wear for the day ahead (we were hitting the shops!) so I went into Tony's room and got my top out of the wardrobe when I turned around and saw the most horrific, surprising thing I've ever seen... standing behind me was Tony with a full load of armpit hair! :O He's 6! Six!!! When I was his age I didn't even have hair on my head! And we're not talking like a few little beads here,these were like massive long strings! I knew you wouldn't believe me so I grabbed my camera and took a pic... but the little bastard went and told Sophie, who shouted at me saying "If you put that picture of Tony on your stupid blog then I won't let you have any more of my salad (she makes amazing salad)!" 
But guess what?  I thought then.. my readers are more important than my bitch of a sister so I'M GONNA PUT IH UP!!! 
love u all sooo much :) 

Friday, 16 March 2012

if theres a will theres a way

so at the mo, most people are extremly stressed about 2012 and all, but as you know, they would nay have to worry if they FOLLWED OUR BLOG. guys we can assure that 2012 will not happen and you have time to do better things such as FOLLOW OUR BLOG.

warning: you may not recieve a prize